Reinventing Myself Post-Divorce

At age 50, I got divorced and sober, and was living alone for the first time in my life. As
a gift to myself for my 50th birthday, I decided to try 50 new things in my 50th year to determine
how I wanted to live the next chapter of my life.
The things I tried ranged from lifestyle changes to adventure travel to social activities to
spiritual endeavors. Not all were things I would ever do again. But each taught me something
about myself and stretched my comfort zone.

The most impactful thing I did was moving for a few months to a remote region of Nepal,
high in the Himalayas, to volunteer in a school. It was an eight-hour hike from the nearest road to
the village. The people had never met a Westerner there. They had no electricity or running
water, yet they shared what little they had with me. And they were the happiest people I had ever
met. They were a community that helped and cared for each other. They respected nature. They
focused on the good.
The experience became for me an exercise in cultivating gratitude. I left learning to focus
on all that I had instead of all I had lost. By virtue of living in the United States, I know I will
have access to clean water and medical care. The safety net for Americans is significant. So I no
longer take so many blessings in my life for granted.
Helping others is one of the best antidotes to self-pity. There is so much suffering in the
world.

Other things I tried in my 50th year included singing on stage at an open mic event. I am
a terrible singer! The experience taught me more about courage. Courage is not the absence of
fear, but feeling fear and proceeding despite the discomfort. I now feel more confident when on
stage. But now I limit my stage appearances to giving talks!

Many people asked me for my list of 50 things that I tried. Turning 50 is typically a
common point for reassessment. So I decided to write a book about my experiences. 50 After
50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life became an Amazon bestseller and has helped
thousands of people get unstuck and elevate their lives. The book also became the subject of my
TEDx Talk, “Turning Life’s Challenges into a Force for Good.” I am now writing a book about

60 new things I tried in my 60th year. The exercise of trying new things jump-starts my growth
and healing.

I highly recommend trying new things. I keep a list on my cell phone of things I would
like to try. It helps stave off stagnation. Consider getting an accountability partner to keep you
moving forward. If we stop growing, we hasten our dying.

Even bad experiences have value. Even though I am not exactly glad that I was sexually
assaulted, for instance, I am able to help other victims now. Every experience that I have had in
my life has helped prepare me to help others. People are more willing to open up to me because I
have seen hardship and survived. In fact, I have thrived.
I use my experiences to help divorcees, alcoholics, women in midlife, women authors, and
more. My goal is to use whatever time I have left in the best way possible and to make the world
better because I am here.
Aside from helping others, I also do things to help myself. I am a big fan of women’s
retreats and travel. Retreats help me get off of the hamster wheel of my life and assess how I am
using my time. Travel increases my perspective and adds excitement to my days. I have traveled
to 80 countries and hope to see every country in my lifetime.

At midlife, we have lived more of our lives than we have ahead of us. We do not have to
settle for the gray safety that sameness promises. Your life is happening right now. It is up to you
what you do with it. And every day is a chance to make a change.

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Maria Leonard Olsen practices law as a commercial litigator in Washington, DC. She is an
author (50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life), podcaster (“Becoming Your Best
Version”), journalist, TEDx speaker (“Turning Life’s Challenges into a Force for Good” and
“What to Consider Before and After You Take a DNA Test”), book marketing coach for female
authors, and mentor to women in recovery. Maria served as a political appointee in the Clinton administration Justice Department and on numerous boards. She writes for several women in midlife
publications (including AARP’s The Ethel and Kuel Life) and is a frequent public speaker on
wellness issues. Her next book will be Before and After the DNA Test: A Practical Guide to
Genetic Privacy, Medical Risks and Family Secrets (Bloomsbury 2026) and 60 After 60: Finding
Serenity in Your 60s or at Any Age. Learn more at MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on
social media @FiftyAfter50.